Drugs and romance.

We're your drugs and we leave you with a high
You are obsessed. This is a fact you can't deny
Whether we have plans or not, you try to see us daily
Yet anger fills the void when our plans are delayed.

You only seem upset when we are not there
But to admit that fact, you wouldn't dare.
For to say you are in love, goes against your pride
So you will forever hide.

It's growing old, we cannot deal
For our happiness is not real
How can we be happy when
It feels as if it's going to end.

You make plans for our future
Yet when brought up again you are unsure
This roller coaster is too much to take
I feel as if I need to pull away

For him and I have never swayed
And by your side we will remain
But feelings of deceit and lack of trust
Make me doubt and cause him to fuss

One minute you're ours, the next you love him
Please tell me which one is it?
Two years of this will kill my faith
We need to get out of this place

For you alone our hearts beat
And together we feel complete
But once apart, the doubt comes back
We get restless and feel the need to attack.

We all need strength, I cannot continue
To hold us together while we're miles apart
I'm growing tired of having to prove
That this is forever, til death do us part.

Past. Present. Future?

Four old souls struggle to change
The past they made for themselves.
Lies and deceit plague their minds
In the hole they have dug so deep.

One betrays while the three are harmonious
Consumed by power and hate
Trying to open his tiny mind,
They try to fall away.

Will leaving bring them back yet again?
Or are they stuck here no matter what.
A curse, they think, from one of their own
Consumed by immortal life.

Unsure of which direction to go
They strive to mend the broken bonds
Stubborn, shattered, tattered and worn
Unsure of the curse of the words they'd sworn

The weight of the world resting on their backs
Having little left to give
In this world the future is their past
Leaving hardly a trace behind them to last

Ink slowly drying the words on the page
Doing anything it takes to rise above
The well of tears is anything but dry
Falling endless, they continue to try

Trying we are, succeeding, unlikely
Even the optimist repressed.
Seeing the tears of the ones she loves
Makes her anxious and depressed.

Every move made with uncertainty
Chaos meets every road
To keep it together is their one goal
Paying back everything considered owed.

While one lives, the other must die
Has it always been like this?
Did he once live with us in simplicity?
Did we ever have a life of bliss?

Was there always opposition from one side?
We are so lost in this life
Is there a way for us all to ever get along
Why does that idea seem so wrong?

What is life?

Well, if life is just existing on this Earth until the time we die, we're doing it quite well. But most people tell us that life is making decisions and getting somewhere we can be proud of. Who can predict the future with all of the little side roads we could take after we decide the big roads. Do we stay on the path that we are on now? Life is chaos until people decide what they want, have a direction to go, and then get it. Then they have to figure out something else they want. Life is hard when you are indecisive. When you second guess everything you choose, you never go anywhere. Life is about taking risks and maybe ending up with nothing. But at least when you reach the lowest point, the only way you have to go is up. You can not fall any farther than the lowest point. Life is about being strong in your decisions and doing whatever is necessary to make your dreams come true. Whether your dream is becoming a rock star, selling a best-seller, supporting the ones you love, marrying the one you love and having 3 kids, living in a big house, having an expensive car, designing a line of clothing, beating every video game known to man; whatever your dream is, you need to decide and execute all of the risks that it takes to get there. Life is designing a dream and then reaching for the stars. At least if you can't reach them, you'll fall on the moon.

Understanding you.

I've noticed that you are always looking for someone to fully understand you. To be able to pick up every single subtle hint you drop, to be able to understand your multiple personalities and the chaos in your head. YOU don't even understand you. 28 personalities and counting. You change your mind with each switch, anything you say will change in 10 minutes, you love us one second and hate us the next. We are the closest thing you have to someone who understands you. We try more than anyone else ever will to understand you. You get mad when we get mad, but what you have to understand from us is that between the two of us we don't change our minds about you. We stay here, loyal and ready to catch you if ever you should fall. You get mad when we talk about you, when we talk about you, we are trying to calm down because of something that happened or we are trying to gather more information so we can make sure to bring everything up to you when we all have time to talk. We don't sit there and talk about you in a negative sense[at least we don't mean it to be negative] we are just trying to get our immediate feelings out so that they don't build up. And it's not behind your back because a) we know you're listening and b) we tell you it later anyway. The tension we are feeling is mostly because I feel as if you are still hiding things. Or, one of you is. Also, the tension is building up because your right. You haven't chosen yet and you leaving will hurt us. Your not the only one who builds a wall when you feel the possibility of injury to your heart. My wall is easier to break down because I refuse to fully put one up against people I love but that's just another one of our differences. One thing you should remember is that we love you. You should remember that it's supposed to be us and that Tom/James is evil. Harry and I have a harder time with this whole situation because we actually know that you have Tom and us. If Tom knew, it wouldn't be so easy for you to fall for him. He wouldn't be taking you out to expensive dinners or telling you that he loves you and would do anything to be with you or showing you a good time. He'd be killing the one person you loved and forcing you to be by his side just like he did oh so long ago. I think Harry and I react a bit better. How can you expect us to not get a little upset and anxious for the next year and 7 months to be over? If we weren't jealous, we wouldn't love you. We wouldn't care what you did with who, we wouldn't care if you flirted with every guy you see, and we wouldn't care if you left. But we do care. As much as anyone will ever care. I love you. <3

Defying the laws...

Dating each others exes, every single movie, book, person, and life experience tells you that we should hate each other. But here we are. Hanging out and laughing and "shopping" together. Our friendship should have never happened, not in a million years. Yet here it is. People don't understand it, it's so odd that two people who should hate each other would consider each other close friends, dare I say best friends? Some may say, maybe they are just doing the whole keep your friends close, enemies closer bit but they don't understand that honestly, everything happens for a reason. We are only friends because we get that. We realize that while we had a good run with our exes, it couldn't last forever and they may have been in our lives to bring us together with the experiences that we needed to help each other. All of our life experiences have pointed to each other..People may never get it and we'll laugh about it probably for a long time, but I'm glad. You know what's funny? She's the best friend I've ever had and she's the most screwed up of the lot. She sees things and can be two-faced[or three-faced or 10 faced? idk how many personalities do you have now?] and bitchy and sometimes hurtful and we may fight, but who doesn't? I was going somewhere with this...Oh, but she's the best friend I've ever had. She was there for me when no one else was and I was there for her, and after every fight, we come back to each other. We're drawn to each other. We miss each other when we're too far apart and we have plenty of people who would love to see our friendship fail, but that just makes it all the more exciting. There is no doubt in my mind that her and I were shaped and built to be friends. You don't find someone like that often. Someone whose weirdness is compatible with your weirdness to make a pair that holds strong even under the worst kind of pressure. How can we forgive each other? I'm not entirely sure but we're getting really good at it. xD

Thought the two of us could get through anything..

Every time we were together, we had a cloak over us and nothing could touch us..Our strength got us through anything..But when we were alone, we were so broken, so dead inside. The quacking curse..We always wondered what would happen if the quacking curse happened while we were together..Well I guess we found out. When the two of us cause each other pain, our friendship falls apart and we have no choice but to be with other friends and try so hard to forget that the other person ever existed..Anger is the emotion we both feel. Her at me for betraying her trust, me at her for being unable to forgive something that I forgave her for so long ago..She ended him and I..And we both learned a valuable lesson: Everything happens for a reason. Him and I had to end so that she could save me. She had to save me so that I would see how important she was. I had to see how important she was so that I would listen to everything she had to say. I had to listen because her other friends wouldn't. Her other friends wouldn't listen because she had to trust me. She had to trust me so that I would be an important part of her life. I had to be an important part of her life so that I would meet Alex. I had to meet Alex so that all three of us could get closer and closer to each other. The three of us had to get closer to each other so that we would make it through anything..or at least that's what I'm hoping the reason is..I'm hoping the reason isn't that him and I needed to be isolated from everyone we had considered friends..because we've both been loners for a long time..He doesn't really trust anyone, I only trusted her. Alone together isn't what either of us wants...But maybe it has to be this way so that him and I can excel in our music..Yet I can't stop writing about her..Our new Metal song is going to be called Lilac A. Black and its a great song..We wanted her there with us more than anything..We wanted her to have our first CD..We wanted her and I to work on lyrics together like our poems we write together. We wanted her there in the spotlight with us..We wanted to say her name and have her come on stage so we could hug her and give her the writing credit that she deserves. We wanted her to be our lives. But she, at least for now, wants nothing to do with us. And maybe we don't deserve her or her genius after our jokes and games...But we're still hoping and praying every day that we'll get a text saying, "Wanna go to the park and maybe get some food at DQ?" We aren't sorry for being together, but we are sorry for lying. Maybe, just maybe, we'll get through this..They've gotten through hell before, maybe all three of us will get lucky and make this work again...If not, we'll always still love her.

Harry post 2.

Harry is still hers..I never wanted him. I want Alex. I wasn't trying to replace her, wasn't trying to copy her, wasn't trying to get back to her, never wanted to lie to her...Every single one of her friends is screaming at me and liking pages that are against me and trying to hurt me but they don't realize that I don't care about their opinions of me..Never have, never will. All that I care about is that I still have the two people that mean the most to me in my life..All that I care about is that her and I get past this and can still be the best friends that life made us into..All that I care about is that him and I can make amazing music and hopefully one day be famous and she'll be right there with us because the three of us are the same in a lot of ways..Harry still belongs to Lilac and I would never try to take him away from her..Alex and Paris never get back together in either of their minds, she doesn't still love him, he knows its too late to make things work again, and him and I make each other happy..She's our best friend, we want her to be able to support us and be with us and laugh with us, cry with us, lean on us, and just everything that we did before we started dating..I feel as though everyone overreacting is making this so much worse than it has to be..If I didn't have feelings for him, I wouldn't be with him but the truth is, he's everything I've been looking for..We didn't tell her right away for a lot of reasons..For one, it was her birthday party and her actual birthday, for another, we wanted to make sure that we really wanted each other and were sure before we got everyone all worked up, and for another, we were scared to lose her because she means so much to both of us..At this point, I'm going to give her time to cool off and wait patiently for a text from her letting me know that we can hang out again..

<3 Violet.

Formspring..

God, this website causes nothing but troubles..Formspring. Ask anonymous questions to people you don't like but still have to follow every move in their life!! yay!!! Yeah, fuck that shit...Both Li and I got really rude and weird questions and between the two of us can not even fathom who they could be..When I first read mine, I thought it was Li being insecure about Harry because she's really like the only friend that I consider a friend any way...and Harry told me that Li thought that her question was from me so..That again makes no sense since I don't have MPD and would remember sending something like that..

Anyway, now, Something bad always happens when we are apart..It's like, we have a freaking cloak around us when we are together and as soon as we leave, she's attacked by demons and humans alike and some thing goes wrong in my life...The quacking curse we call it.. She mentioned on the phone the other night that everything just seems better when she's talking to me and I feel it too. I wish the three of us could really just run away...All of us could live on barely any funding and be fine..We just need each other, a car, and no destination..I miss them so much when I'm "home." Its in quotes because with them is home...not this place in Exton where I sleep and bathe...Well, that's it for now. Things should be better tomorrow.

<3 Violet.

Harry..

Well, I haven't posted on here in a while and a lot of things have changed. For one, saph is home and already trying to mark her territory, Li is stressed as shit from her break up and her home life, and feeling like all of her friends are fighting all of the time, Venus is being her normal self and refusing to make herself part of our world, and Cay is all over the love of my life and making a point to rub it into my face every chance she gets..On top of all the problems that Li and I have, Harry has made his return and we hang out with him all the time now. I had my doubts about Li holding up with this..She seems fine most of the time except she has herself convinced that there is going to be something between Harry and me..I thought she realized by now that its usually her insecurities and writing that makes things happen so it would be best to just not think about it and it won't happen. I talked to him about it just to make sure, and everything is fine. It's strange how comfortable with each other we all are..It's like, we can say anything to each other and still know that its us against the world and if one falls, we all fall. Harry and I used to hate each other..I never pictured anything like this where the three of us can go anywhere, do anything, sit around in a playground, walk through forrests, go to dairy queen, and we aren't bored together..We all complete each other so perfectly. This summer is going to be so awesome yet I feel as if something is coming..I feel as though Li's insecurities are going to take over and we aren't going to be able to get her back to reality..

-Violet.

Trust issues.

She says that everyone who says she can trust them leaves. So I won't say it. She'll trust me if she wants to and if she doesn't, I'll accept that. I almost told her that she can always trust me last night but honestly, I shouldn't have to say it. She should just know..I care about her a lot and I can't picture my life with out her in it, no matter how many problems she may have, no matter how many ruins she leaves behind us, no matter how many times we have to run, its better than leaving her when life has tried so hard to make us friends..She's been on the outskirts of my life for almost 5 years now..We may not have known each other or even spoke one word to each other but everything in our lives prepared us for each other and that is a bond that will never be broken.

Reality vs. Dream

She grasps for a moment of reality
As she falls down to her knees
They can't be real, the knives she feels
Because the blood never stains.

But what she vividly sees
Makes her want to scream
No one sees, she can't breath
And no one ever believes.

She reaches out for help
She can't do this by herself
They turn away, why don't they stay?
She then wants to run away.

Save her I must but where to start?
I hate to see her pain
She pushes me back, as if under attack
Yet, by her side I stay.